“…Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two:…”

I am feeling a little confused these days. I don't know if you have tried working in a secular job, but I think I am in where it's getting nearer and nearer to a place where I have to choose between full-time ministry and my job. And I know I am going to choose ministry. At least I have a much clearer vision now that God wants me in the ministry. (When I was 15 I made a commitment to become a pastor, but I took a different route. Now I am 29, I think I never really succeeded in this career at least to my expectations.) After 14 years, I am involved in His work as a pastor while working on my Bible degree. I think that is not a coincidence.

What is really bothering me is the timing. I know eventually I will resign from work. To be honest, working in the business world is not exciting anymore like it used to be. I have learned a lot in my work from giving trainings, which is my main job, to events organizing, marketing and more, and I am dying to use those skills in the Church.

I happened to read Phil 1, “…Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two:…”

I think for now I’ll just take Paul’s advice: Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. I think this is how Paul also lived his life, conscious of the reality that anything could happen, gave his whole heart to whatever he finds to do. I will just give my best shot in whatever I do, “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord.”